Dive Bars...

Tom Petty, Soulja Boy, Britney Spears, Queen, Prince...

What the fuck kind of playlist is this and who in the hell is picking the tunes!? I'm convinced whoever made the playlist is on crack, and judging from the state of the bar...it would be an accurate assumption. The Space Room has the good fortune of playing host to me and some of my friends. And while I could understand the rather shady clientele, the music was horrendous!! And I just think, how much better would everyone's experience be with a good mixture of old school/new school songs.

And then I think of my favorite campus bar, Max's. Great songs. No liquor, all beer, one pool table, like four booths and still packed every weekend. I want to point the success towards the selection of music a bunch of drunk collegiates can lose themselves (and their voices) in! Nothing beats the memory of Shannon aka Shay-Bug doing a awkward, spirited dance for the song, "Shout."

You know what? Illegal thoughts flash through my mind. Like what if I karate chopped the owner of this shitty shitty bar named The Space Room and threatened his family harm if he didn't oblige to a better set of tunes. Yeah, that sounds about right. Add some crowd-friendly anthems from Weezer and maybe sprinkle in some hard rock gems from Guns N' Roses. Not hard. But then I realize...shitty music defines dive bars.

Playing two or three songs in succession from the same artist is perfectly acceptable. Well not only acceptable, it's expected. A wretched smile pains my face as Queen's "We Will Rock You" was followed by "Fat Bottomed Girls." Ideally, played in Meghan's departure (the only friend I know who has an ungodly obsession with Freddie Mercury). The rest of the night played out like a bad dream, but I can't help look back with a chuckle. Kory, my best friend, entertained his lady friend while I found myself lost between Britney Spear's Blackout and Souja Boy's one-hit wonder.

I have every intention to burn a CD and leave it on the counter anonymously to see if anyone might be interested in playing something with a bit more credibility. So while I find myself single for the first time in awhile, I feel I've taken on music as my mistress and God forbid she be dressed in this whorish costume. She needs to be streamlined and free to evolve and express distinct creativity. Anything else would be sacrilege.

God...I've become a musical elitist.

Finally.



P.S. - How one typo can destroy a beautiful post. Yes, I just realized that I meant to say no liquor. All Beer. Thank you for the fact checkers! And while some may make certain allegations that I enjoy some lesser forms for music - this is true. I think that was the point. Almost every song had a certain memory attached like Prince's "Little Red Corvette." Meghan and I giggled as we recounted almost driving Jonathan to the brink of insanity, dancing in place as we jostled the car ever closer to our icy death. It was just the mix and the mood that was conjured. It was odd and ill-placed. Certainly not one that I would have wanted for this dark nightmare.



This.Is. Truth.