S.S.

She traced the uneven scar that ran around her thigh like a coiled snake through her stockings. Every inch harkening a time long lost. She caught herself gazing out the window of her tiny, studio loft. It was dark even for a winter day. It was always on days like these that she felt herself reminisce, but she was going to be late. In a rush to get finished, she caught a glimpse of herself in the full-size mirror next to her bed. Her hair fell around her shoulders in a red, frizzled mess. Dark stockings ran underneath a black dress. The outfit was contrasted against her pale, white skin. She hated everything about herself. She hated living alone...


Bound and ingratiated to you
Taken as a child and inside you I grew
Pushing at the glass ceiling pressing against my face
One day I'll break through and live in outer space

I didn't know how to feel at first
A love song that was backwards and perverse
50 shades of grey
Painting the very lines of the man you see today

They tried to tell me how to feel
They tried to define my reality yet it's all surreal
Support groups structured like classrooms
Burying individual thoughts in unmarked tombs

You loved me too much
You hurt me so much
I loved you for it
I loved you for it

The next social manifest written in 140 characters
Parables sung by charlatans in every neighborhood theatre
We're all in love with the vanity
Excess pushing the bounds of this universal sanity

The next prophet preparing his mass eulogy; euthanize
The next president preparing her national address; euthanize
The next preacher preparing his pulpit call; euthanize
The next teacher preparing her lesson plan; euthanize

You loved me so much
You hurt me too much
I loved you for it
I loved you for it


Time heals most wounds and 30 years certainly healed the physical ones. Her mini celebrity status kept her inside most times early on, but most of that has died down. There were the occasional looks but most of that was inside her head, she thought. It wasn't the looks she detested, it was what was behind them. They pitied her. They felt sorrow for her. She was just a girl when it happened. 30 years ago to the day. It was their anniversary. It was then she noticed one of the roses shudder under the clench of her balled fist. The sun began dipping behind the skyline signaling her to hurry the pace. She was almost there but the sunset was always our time. Making her way through the maze of stones, she knew the quickest route.

The sky now ablaze with oranges and purples, it was oddly the brightest it had been all day. Shakily, she dropped the roses next to the headstone that was now showing its age. She knew what it said though. It was painfully seared. "Here rests the body and soul of Charles M. Nelson." Absently, her hand began tracing the scar again but the trace began to apply more pressure and before she knew it, she was reopening her flesh with every repetition. The pain reminding her of precious times. Times they shared. His last living gift. The light dropped from the sky and her eyes. Hugging herself, she turned on her toes and began the trek back. They'll never understand...


SS

iii. telegraph ave.

...The only one I know is you, so the fuck I'm supposed to do...



The last few bars of telegraph ave aggressively nuzzle their way against my eardrums. And as it drew to a close I thought, this is the last time in vain. And so it started for at least the 90th time in a row. There are just moments in life where a song perfectly aligns with my soul creating a bridge to a place I seldom get to visit. A place where intimate moments, thoughts, and expressions that don't mean anything singularly come together to create a tapestry of pure self. Here I can carefully take these threads and follow them to their source. One foot here. One foot there. In reality I am taking in everything for the first time. Words, signs, people all connect me to memories and thoughts so powerful it washes over like a tidal wave.

It was supposed to be a simple task. Procure food. An errand I've done a million times. I throw on a random pair of jeans, caramel-striped button up, and Oklahoma City Thunder-inspired Kamikazes. Next, earphones go in and I play crawl on the Gambino album. I know my order: crawl, sweatpants, 3005, and life: the biggest troll. Don't get me wrong. I love the entire album, those tracks are its highlights - or so I thought. Before I could leave, I came across the accompanying story that breaks down the concept album written as a screenplay.

becausetheinter.net

This is old. So old I actually had no intention of reading it. I thought I had a fairly good grasp on the album and its message. But suddenly with a jolt of curiosity I played along. I mean I devoted a whole night to a visual album of Beyonce's. Each song on the album sonically created the backdrop to the adventures of "The Boy" and the characters that make up his life. That's when it happened. My creative juices flooded my brain and began clamoring for an outlet. Now I just needed my sound scape.

Foot on the gas/I'm just trying to pass/All the red lights/And stop signs/I'm ready to go

By the time I left, it was well after the time I had intended to leave. My blood sugar was dropping fast and traffic was my consequence. The stop and go. Over and over. Cycles. Repetition. I feel safe inside it. For the majority of my life I've developed a routine that runs like a well-oiled machine. There's something safe and dependable about knowing what's next. I've never carried a large circle because there's safety in knowing the people you place around yourself. No surprises. And yet somewhere in the familiar march towards death it feels I've stepped out of line and been sentenced to run in circles or maybe I stopped to catch my breath. My ferris wheel seems to have stopped moving. It isn't the direction I'm concerned with, it's the speed in which I feel I'm traveling...

A honk jars me back to reality. I gave a flick of a wave expressing my apology. Still in a half trance, I park when I get to my destination just to absently grab for my wallet that is almost always near the handle of the driver's side. I've long since thrown caution to the wind regarding this subject. I'd rather chance someone breaking into my car and stealing it than me losing it. And if it isn't in one central place, I will lose it. But it isn't there. I play the "when did you use it last" game. Philomena the movie the day before. I'm wearing the jeans and jacket I was wearing that day so not there. Grimly, I stare down the possibility of the fact that I've lost my wallet. Either way it was back to the house and back through the traffic. That bowl of Kix now seemed to be eaten years prior instead of hours.

 Everything, that I needed/Now that I got you in your feelings/Everything you won't say, you tweet it/And a nigga don't like that shit at all

 The sun was starting to mock me as it was getting low by the time I reached the house. It took a minute to find it on the kitchen counter under the movie stub. Relief mixed with consternation. Do I really want to go back out there? A quick overview of my current groceries produced a meal of oatmeal or eggs. Stubbornly, I hurried back into the car and set off again. Right. Left. Right. Straight. Retracing your path just taken, creates an odd sense of regurgitation. How many times have I taken a specific route to go anywhere? Being born and raised in one place creates more deja vu moments than I'd care to admit. I've thought about moving. Where would I go? Austin? Brooklyn? San Diego?

In Oakland...In Oakland...

Everything has always been here. My family, friends and more importantly the routine. Starting over. Flashes like light bulbs going off behind my eyes take me back. I see people I haven't talked to in decades. I see places that seemed so important so long ago. Monuments of memories that once shone so bright have since been eroded by time. A cemetery that has long lost its undertaker. A beautiful tragedy now befalls this secret garden. A million experiences that lie dormant individually breathe life into me.

Yeah, we can try/So let's try

 After claiming my food it's this line that keeps sticking out. And on the way back it's the line that has me digging. It was at this moment I got a sense of deja vu that was altogether different. Instead of it revolving around a time or place it was the act of self discovery through music I developed at a very early age. I can remember my sister's Panasonic CD Player like it was yesterday. She was much better about saving her allowance for technology so when she got that CD Player I was enraged with jealousy. I don't know how many times I stole it to her chagrin. I was determined to get one as well so when I finally got my first CD Player the real anticipation was to use it was in the car.

More aptly -- the van. A beige Econoline van with a tire wheel cover that read Sassi Chassi. Appropriately it was dubbed the Sassi Chassi by friends later on in high school. But by that time it had been remodeled into an ice cream van. Another story for another time. Anyways, my excitement lie in the fact I had a strange fascination in laying down on my back in the very back of the van and peering through the window trying to guess where I was by the tops of houses and power lines. It was fun. I was somewhere else - a different world. It was always difficult to fall completely because of the chatter of the family most times so when I discovered the music could be the blanket to insulate these dreams, it was a genuine breakthrough.

It was especially transcendent at night so as I found myself pulling up to house I decided to pile into the back of my Toyota Camry which readily brought two things to mind. The car was much smaller and I was much bigger. Nevertheless, I gave it one more spin and let everything go. Yeah we can try...so let's try. I think about my brief trial learning how to play the tenor saxophone given to me by my cousin Michelle. I think about my trials playing JV basketball until 8th grade. I think about the trials of growing up black in a significantly white state that is Oregon. I think about you. I never know if I try hard enough to say what I mean to say. I picture you standing two feet away with hurricane winds shuttling between us. No matter how hard I shout, the syllables swallowed and spat out on deaf ears. Eyes open and stomach stirs. Answers for a 29 year old summing up this decade of transition aren't coming easy but on days like these, the questions become clearer.

 I don't really mind the drive/
But I think I'd rather die/
In Oakland, in Oakland/
With my hands on two and ten/
So I guess it all depends/
On Oakland, on Oakland/
And I'm nervous, truth be told/
I never saw me growing old/
In Oakland, in Oakland/
And if I married you tonight/
It would probably start a riot/
In Oakland, in Oakland/

Top 10 Albums of '09

I make no omissions about feeling a LITTLE bit lackluster about this year's crop of new music. While last year saw a return to form by Portishead, the cough syrup-toting New Orleans Nightmare, Weezy, and the melodic trance creating MGMT, there will not be one band or rapper returning this year except Bon Iver. But, there were plenty of surprises and bright spots and these ten albums were truly great for individual reasons. While last year I found more indie rock sneak their way in the door, this year was great for pop. Maybe the recession inspired the industry to make slap-happy grooves that lifted the soul? Whatever the cause, pick up these albums.


10. Daisy - Brand New

The boys from Long Island released their fourth studio album to much fanfare. This was their highest charted album reaching number 6 on the Billboard 200 thanks in large to the success of The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me. This album infuses surf-rock, bluesy riffs, and heavy metal. As experimental as the sound came across, Jesse still was able to inject enough of himself to create a link between this album and the rest of their catalogue - barely. Jarring, loud, and aggressive are just a couple of adjectives that could be used to sum up this album. It is trying. But it is complete. Mike Sapone did an excellent job breathing life into this angry beast. Standout tracks include, "Bed," "You Stole," "At the Bottom," and "Bought a Bride."

9. The Ecstatic - Mos Def

It's interesting how the two hip hop albums on this list are almost a throwback. A novelty. Let's hit rewind and remember what it was to listen to hip in the 90s. Grooving melodies crafted by neo-soul hits of the 50s and 60s. Of course Def puts his unique spin on it. While this may be one of his more accessible records of recent memory, he really strikes a rhythm that is deeply satisfying. It's a short romp, but the Brooklyn Bomber does his thing here. Standout tracks include, "History (feat Kweli)," "Twilite Speedball," and "Auditorium (feat. The Ruler)."

8. The Fame Monster - Lady Gaga

I will admit. I was late to this party. And as much as this might be a guilty admission into my top ten, I cannot dismiss the power of Lady Gaga. Her club hits that started out as infectious hook-laden pop hits like "Just Dance" flourished to full-fledged arena-sized power ballads such as "Bad Romance." Her entry into music consciousness was as smooth as blunt force trauma. If the door wasn't to open, she would kick it down. Soon she was singing hooks on up-and-coming hip hop acts such as Wale and Kid Cudi. To her credit, once the populace was ready to receive her, she took the light and ran with it. She is a performer first and then musician. She has done a good job of keeping her music sonically different than fluff acts and to that I will give her artist to watch for years to follow. Standout tracks are, "Just Dance," "Poker Face," and "Bad Romance."

7. Blood Bank EP - Bon Iver

Justin Vernon just has a knack of creating wintery melancholy tunes that message the aches and pains of life. While this might be a bit boisterous to put a four song EP in the top ten of the year -- this is pretty much just an extra slap on the back for his highly-successful full length album last year. If you need some Iver to hold you over til the spring, this may be just the drink. All four tracks are standout. Even the final track that proved even a folk singer like Vernon could take the auto-tune and make something organic come of it.

6. Album - Girls

Christopher Owens may be one of the most interesting musicians to emerge this year. Creating the masterpiece that calls itself Album may be enough to give him the most misunderstood musical figure in the industry. He's a junkie. He is an ex-member of the Children of God cult. And that's just the beginning. He's a musical genius and his anti-hero anthem, "Hellhole Ratrace" may just sum up 09' as a whole. Born out of San Francisco, California, Owens croons to be believed in. We might not have a choice after this initial offering. Standout tracks include, "Hellhole Ratrace," "Lust for Life," and "Morning Light."

5. Manners - Passion Pit

The earnest crooning of Michael Angelakos is only the beginning to this band formed out of Cambridge, Massachusetts. This electronic band wedges itself somewhere in between MGMT and Postal Service. The pure wall of sound that drenches every track creates a dramatic soundscape peppered with light keyboard strokes. This album is the dark horse. Created out of Angelakos' wanting to create music for his girlfriend, now their EP feels like a tremendous freshman effort to woo every girl listening. It's light. It's fun. There's not much to challenge the listener so repeat listens may not break any new ground, but damn it if it's not infectious. Standout tracks include, "Moth's Wings," "Sleepyhead," "The Reeling," and "Swimming in the Flood."

4. It's Blitz! - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Karen O may just be my hero. It just seems like whatever she touches to gold. Born to be the princess of Indie rock. This being their third offering, they ditch slow emo ballads for some electronic dance music. "Zero" seemed to come hurtling through the sonic sphere right in the nick of time. The critical success of this album seems to parallel the success of LCD Soundsystem's Sounds of Silver which saw the band reach a different kind of success with their electronic offering. Already nominated for the Grammy for Best Alternative Album, It's Blitz! seems to find the YYYs in a different world. One that loves them almost as much as they love themselves. Karen O has always been Indie rock's superstar, but the mainstream success has never fully eyed her until now. It'll be interesting to see how they go from here. Standout tracks include, "Zero," "Heads Will Roll," "Skeletons," and "Dull Life."

3. Merriweather Post Pavilion - Animal Collective

Holy coherent melodies, Batman! Who would have thought Animal Collective would have been able to release a comprehensive albums that hardcore freakfolk nerds and simpletons could sway to alike? Not me. And yet, they've done it. They're crossing over from independent glory to mainstream with deft ease. Did Panda Bear give Ben Gibbard a call? Reaching 13 on the Billboard 200, this is easily their most commercially successful album to date. And perhaps the sonic sound of the album was bred out of necessity and not out of creativity entirely. Josh Gibb (guitarist) needed to take some time from the band out of personal reasons, so the now trio had to come up with sounds for substitutes in lieu of the guitar. The outcome was something close to Panda Bear's solo album Person Pitch. Using samplers as their primary instrument, the result also draws comparisons to Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys. Technically, this might be the best album of the year. Best Tracks include: "My Girls," "Summertime Clothes," and "Brother Sport."

2. Only Built 4 Cuban Linx...Part II - Raekwon

What an re-entry. If the music industry were a steel door, Rae used OB4CL like a chainsaw. He was not gonna be denied with this album. With some of the best producers to ever sit at the table he received beats from Dre, RZA, J Dilla, The Alchemist, Marley Marl, and Pete Rock, he could have done nothing over the sonic landscape laid out and still had a top ten album. But perhaps that's the icing, every single line and lyric seemed laid in perfect positioning. Every guest spot seemed to up the last. Jada has never seemed more gruff. Ghostface has never seemed more wise. Slick Rick has never seemed so immediately relevant. And if the first installment of this series was Godfather I, this definitely feels like Godfather II. The rise of Brando. Raekwon the Chef aka Lex Diamonds is back with something the hood and mainstream can bump alike. Everything feels dangerous from the strings to the samples. Give a lot of credit to RZA for that. If last year was the year of the forward-thinking Weezy, this year is an homage to everything rap used to be. Top Tracks include: "Surgical Gloves," "Canal Street," and "10 Bricks."

1. Two Suns - Bat For Lashes

The difference in genres couldn't be any more different between number 1 and 2 on this list. Natasha Khan will be the next Indie rock superstar -- well if you want to call it rock. She plays piano, guitar, harpsichord, and autoharp. Not exactly what the pillars of rock were built on. But this beautiful album plays one part mysticism and one part sexuality. It seeps out of every corner and somehow feels out of the Lord of the Rings soundtrack or something. Playing on a lot of ambient noise, these songs almost feel organic in nature. Beautifully composed, each track rises and falls with almost breath-like qualities. There really isn't anything out there like this right now sonically and maybe that's the reason they may not be as big as they should be right now. If I had to peg a musical equivalent, I could draw comparisons to Feist or Tori Amos, but dynamic sampling and synths infuse genres that simply put Bat for Lashes on an island for one. If you listen to one track all year -- just one. Pick "Daniel." It is a flagship single if I've ever heard one. The production comes screaming -- ahem sighing -- out of the 80s but Khan's voice feels timeless making it relevant. They may borrow techniques out of the 60s, 70s and 80s, but this band has created one of the most beautiful albums to date and it feels so new. Much like Damien Rice's album O, sometimes beauty is the missing piece behind these musical compositions and the highlights reside in this album's softer moments. Intimate. Almost naked. She bares all and I dare you to turn away. Highlight tracks: "Daniel," "Glass," "Moon and Moon," and "Siren Song."

Long Away From Long Island

The emo alt-rockers known as Brand New have come a long way since their pop/punk roots in Your Favorite Weapon. Every band aspires to truly evolve and change with each new record, but none do it with quite the style like Brand New. Jesse Lacey, frontman and lead writer on their first three albums, takes a backseat to Vin Accardi in Daisy. And from beginning to end you can feel the stark difference from this album compared to the other three.

From "Vices" to "Noro" this is Brand New's heaviest record yet aiming its sights on prog/heavy metal rock. Jesse and Co. self admitted that they wanted to create a record that would be fun to play live and scheduled many days off for fear of the toll this record would take on their voices. If The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me was the band in quiet contemplation Daisy finds them in angry resolution. With buzzing guitars, this record is loud -- really loud.

Jesse channels his best Kurt Cobain impression in "Bed." Strangely dark and cryptic, Vin writes the framework for this dark masterpiece. "I don't know what you feel like/Ambushed on the root, stole your gold and you laugh/Everything that you own starts to pile up/Like bones make the walls of your prison." And perhaps the lack of redemption in the lyrics is the main difference between Vin and Jesse. Jesse wrote songs that were drizzled with sadness, but you always felt the tiny vein of hope poking through for air.

Above all things, this is Brand New's most experimental album as well. In "You Stole," Brand New finds itself exploring and experimenting with a surf rock sound. "Be Gone" features a sitar-like imitation with Lacey's voice distorted as if sonically being projected through a body of water. Also they bookcased the album with a gospel hymn called "On Life's Highway" written by Bertrand Brown. Above all though, many will think this album plays up the guitars, but this is album shines due to the drummer, Brian Lane. And producer Mike Sapone, who produced their first album Your Favorite Weapon, gave this album a continuity like none before it.

Only 40 minutes long, the album is quick. Straight to the point. There have been allusions that this may be the last Brand New album, at least with this same lineup. Four albums that altogether are very different yet strangely connected. It's been a decade for these boys turned men and they take nothing for granted. This album is their most creative, cohesive work ever. Deja Entendu may be their crowning achievement, but Daisy takes every opportunity that album gave them and churned out a fiery force that resonates long after the first listen.

Heading a tour that will pack arenas, these guys are a long way from their underground punk roots, yet you never really feel they've ever lost a sense of who they are and what they aim to convey.


9/10


This. Is. Truth.

So many thoughts.....

This is what I frequently end up doing. Create a successful month or two of blogging to follow it up with a half-year hiatus til the point that I have so many thoughts, I can't focus it into a streamlined article. Over the past month, I think I have downloaded about 10 albums, read that Thom Yorke is starting a new band with Flea, Pavement is back, Alice In Chains has re-formed with William DuVall, reached a new zenith for my love of "Poker Face" by Lada Gaga, finished the first season of Dexter...err...and seen the rebirth of the Wu! Let's get down to this.



I hate to start with the dude, but how can I not? Kanye West. The dude is a titan. A superstar. He may be the last of his kind. So self-absorbed and egotistical I'm not even sure he can escape his own gravitational pull -- but neither can we. And he finally achieved his ultimate goal with 808s and Heartbreak, he has transcended hip hop and is a true music star. He can work with anyone, anywhere, anytime and be accepted for truth. Karen O? Coldplay? Freaking Elvis Costello? He is in true charge of whatever music he wants to make and we will continue to support him in the process because the man is a genius at crafting a hook. He has opened to the door for acts like Kid Cudi and Lupe Fiasco to go out and fuse hip-hop with indie alternative and still stay mainstream to the hip-hop heads out there. We are reaching a point in music where there is no one where to go but back. Starchy synths, hooks straight outta the 80s, and glam rock is pumping through top radio stations everywhere. Kanye has a hand in that. Truly a visionary, he may be one of the most repugnant figures in music, but damn if I can't smile at his kid genius.


AND he may have done the unthinkable. He might have had a hand in delivering Hov his worst album...maybe ever.

Back to the Blueprint?

I wasn't sure if it was just me as I was listening to the Blueprint 3, but I was actually bored. This was my second time to FYE and they had just gotten the shipment in. I broke the seal and started the third installment of the landmark series. The dude sounds tired. His rhetoric is so repetitive it's hard to imagine this is one of the best rappers ever to walk. All this elder of rap stuff is getting old and his hooks didn't help much. Jeezy's feature, "Real As It Gets" goes downhill right as the homage to "Public Service Announcement" ends. Even up-and-comers Drake, J. Cole, and Kid Cudi can't keep this product fresh (Let's not even get to the Kanye track, "Hate"). The fact it was released around the same time as Raekwon's stellar hip-hop follow-up Only Built 4 Cuban Linx II, made it even more apparent that Hov's lost some edge. He's lost some connection for the game and the hustle. Three weeks later, the album has already fallen out of my daily rotation. And perhaps that's the most alienating offense -- it's completely forgettable.

Do It For the Kids

We are a week away from Spike Jonze's chronicling of childhood favorite, "Where the Wild Things Are," and I think the only thing better than this movie might be the soundtrack. Karen O (of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs) has composed and co-produced this whole soundtrack. Officially the artist is listed as Karen O and the Kids. However the "Kids" constitute of Deerhunter mastermind, Bradford Cox, YYYs members, Nick Zinner and Brian Chase, Dead Weather/Raconteurs' Dean Fertita and Jack Lawrence, Liars' Aaron Hemphill, The Bird and the Bees' Greg Kurstin, as well as a children's choir. If you can't wait a week for the movie (and who can?), skip on over to your music store and pick up a copy of this. Another check for Karen O and her undeniable quest to become alt-rock's demi god.


Finally, I find myself renewed with vigor and vim (P.s. I looked up vim finally -- now I truly understand what it means) for the last quarter of music that will come hurtling its way this holiday season. I rededicate this blog to the notion that good music comes in all shapes, sizes, accents, and instrumentation. I specialize in nothing. Just have a thirst for trending music that makes me happy. Feel free to share, critique, or compliment. This week I'll get a review up for the new Alice in Chains record, Monsters of Folk, AFI, Paramore, Brand New, and Raekwon. As well as highlight a project I'm pretty pumped about: Blakroc.


This. Is. Truth.

Standing O

The art rockers Yeah Yeah Yeahs released their latest album, It's Blitz! to heavy anticipation. They have all the momentum in the world to make this release their landmark. Legions of underground media pub. Check. New York supported cast. Check. Incredibly hot and fashionable female lead singer. Check. Talent. Check.

From open to close this album challenges every YYYs fan of old. Dropping the Indie lo-fi mantra, this album explores every sonic inch of space with synths, hollow drums, and hushed wails. The lead single and first track, "Zero" throws Karen O into a bed of rippling, buzzing rave sounds. Immediately shaking off any relevance to previous work, anyone ill-prepared likely experienced whiplash by the evolution of sound. The upbeat wall of sound threatens to intimidate, but once engulfed, you can't help but feel revitalized by the dance disco track. There is no letdown by the next track, "Heads Will Roll." In fact, when I listened to this I couldn't help but feel reminiscent of Orgy's "Blue Monday."

Standout track "Soft Shock" teaches new fans and old just how strong Karen O can be no matter what the soundscape. However, through the many varied transformations found on It's Blitz! Karen O and Co. still shine through the song writing. "It's a soft shock...to your soft side." The hooks never feel repetitive but layered in way that the mind keeps bringing the most important sentiments to the forefront of consciousness. Like a familiar memory, "Skeletons" welcomes in the most exciting shoe-gaze pop song since "Fade Into You" by Mazzy Star. With a Celtic melody and rolling drum lick, this may top "Maps" as their best ballad to date.

The change in concept may or may not be attributed by the producer credits belonging to Nick Launay (Nick Cave) and Dave Sitek (TV on the Radio). I would like to think that it's the need for the YYYs insatious need to stay out of familiar territory. The only track that really could be pegged a YYYs song might be "Dull Life," but even that track has a groove that Gold Lion could never have claimed its own. With the aforementioned track, "Skeletons," "Runaway" and "Little Shadow" round the album's more ambient songs and provide a change a of pace against the disco-fueled lineup. Each are perfectly tinted with a bit of glam rock that still keeps relevancy with the other songs and the album a march through time.

In essence, this is a classic dance/disco alt-rock gem that is best listened to in the company of others. Play it at a party. Play it on a road trip. Hell, play it at a wake. Music this infectious deserves to be heard by the populace. Oh and take a good look at the album art for this album because it may be the best you'll see all year.


8.5/10



This. Is. Truth.

IncrediBLE

After a two-month hiatus, I have deemed it necessary to keep compiling these blogs as liner notes in my musical evolution. Honestly, it almost felt necessary to abandon music for a short period of time. In December, I was listening to music about 6-7 hours a day and I burnt myself out. The first album I listened to upon returning was The Lonely Island's Incredibad. It felt almost fitting that the album that pulled me out of my stupor was music mockery of sorts. Paralleling the worst music has to offer from rastafarian ("Tras Rent") to hip-hop ("Punch You In the Jeans"), these guys did something Flight of the Conchords couldn't: Make me laugh. Not smile or chuckle, but laugh. 

It might be one of the funniest albums ever. Pooling the best Digital Shorts from SNL, the favorites already make the album worth the purchase, but the other songs reach the same merit. The gift of repetition was not lost on Samburg and crew. "Like a Boss" starts off as a meager storyline that dissolves into a dizzying array of crass depictions that somehow works on every level. Appearances by E-40, Norah Jones, T-Pain, and Jack Black feel fresh and right, not forced. Plus the bonus songs of "Dick in a Box" and "Natalie's Rap" are a gift in their own right. The odd part is how the music and comedy compliment each other. These are songs that find themselves chock full of one-liners that are brilliantly placed. 

Favorite Lines: "I'm ridin on a dolphin/doing flips and shit/the dolphin's splashing/getting everybody all wet." - "I'm On A Boat"

"E to the S to the P to the N/Is all I watch cause I'm the man/If my team loses I'll be mean all night/If you tell me to relax/We'll get in a fight" - "We Like Sportz"

"Pussy out (like a boss)/Puke on Debra's desk (like a boss)/Jump out the window (like a boss)/Suck a dude's dick (like a boss)/Score some coke (like a boss)/Crash my car (like a boss)/Suck my own dick (like a boss)/Eat some chicken strips (like a boss)/Cut my balls off (like a boss)/Blackout in the sewer (like a boss)/Meet a giant fish (like a boss)/Fuck his brains out (like a boss)/Turn into a jet (like a boss)/Bomb the Russians (like a boss)/Crash into the sun (like a boss)/Now I'm dead (like a boss)" - "Like A Boss"

"Yo, reach in my pocket pull out some dough/girl acted like she never saw a 10 before/It's all about the Hamilton's baby/Throw the snacks in a bag and I'm Ghost like Swayze." - "Lazy Sunday"

"I bust in dude's mouth like Gushers motherfucker/Roll up in NBC and smack  the shit out Jeff Zucker/What you want, Natalie?/To drink and fight/What you need, Natalie?/To fuck all night." - "Natalie's Rap"

2nd - "My dick is afraid of you." - "Natalie's Rap"

"Yo I'll punch your jeans/We said it before/Best believe this is not a metaphor/You got something to say/We got the proper retort/Beat your jeans so bad/That they'll wish they were shorts." - "Punch You In the Jeans"

2nd "Gonna revise your Levi's/With physical harm/Put divots in the rivots/With my physical arm/Gonna beat those jeans/Wanna dip em in slime/Turn your 501s/Into 499s" - "Punch You In the Jeans"

"Last week I thought I saw you on the street/Turned out to be a bag of trash/Just a big ole bag of trash/I thought you looked like a bag of trash." - "Dreamgirl"

Well I had fun going through and listing those. It was gonna be one or two and I just couldn't help myself. There are literally a hundred more I could have listed. Pick it up an have a laugh. I think our country could use it. 

8.0/10

This. Is. Truth.